Stress is part of all of our lives and I feel like a lot of the time we internalize it. If you are anything like me you hold your breath until you can’t breathe and all that stress just explodes into an ugly mess of tears, followed by a long nap.
My life has always been a hectic mess. It hasn’t been very pretty and it hasn’t been easy. After I found a genuine relationship with Christ I thought it would all be smooth sailing. I started this site, found a love for pottery, and had coffee with different people almost every day, I was so happy, everything felt perfect. I was investing so much into others and reaching toward God with every bit of life I had in me. Then, my school load picked up, my pottery slowed, and fewer people could meet for coffee. My relationship with Jesus started to be more him reaching for me than me reaching for Him and I began to see the words “BE STILL” everywhere. The funny thing is I knew exactly what this meant, I was aware completely of what God was trying to tell me but I didn’t want to listen. He was telling me to stop and to look at him and to listen. He knows the crazy turn my life is about to take>
I fill my days from 6- whenever I can get to sleep and I do it again every morning. I go and go and go. To add to that I am moving to a new town. Which is stressful in itself but I also have to find that time to move. Plus I am leaving the place that I call home. I keep thinking ” How in the world am I supposed to be still in this God?” and honestly I don’t know. All I know is that he is in control. He sees me. He sees my stress. He sees me feeling like I am being torn into a million directions and He is standing right next to me. He knows that I can’t literally be still but that if I keep my eyes fixed on his, I at least won’t be alone through it. As distant as I feel from God at times he is always going to be with me. As scared as I am to leave my home, it really doesn’t matter because it’s just a house, it’s not my home, my home is in my relationship with Him and that won’t change whether I am here or a million miles away or even just in a town down the road. It’s time I try to be still. So here it is God I am all yours. It’s about time I listen don’t you think?
Anyways, thank you for listening to my word dump about stress, honestly, this was completely for me, I hope you enjoyed a glimpse in my head.
